I really want to donate a kidney. I am working on losing enough weight to be eligible as a donor. My family is trying to dissuade me, but my friends are being encouraging.

My dad is the type of person who assumes that when you disagree with him, it means you’re not listening. I’m listening, and I’m taking all your words into consideration. I understand the risks. These are all things I have thought about. You brought up one point that I did not realize and I am thinking about it. If I deem that to be an unacceptable risk, I will back down. But as of right now, this is something I really want to do, and just because that remains the case does not mean I’m not hearing what you’re saying. It jus...

I really want to donate a kidney. I am working on losing enough weight to be eligible as a donor. My family is trying to dissuade me, but my friends are being encouraging.

My dad is the type of person who assumes that when you disagree with him, it means you’re not listening. I’m listening, and I’m taking all your words into consideration. I understand the risks. These are all things I have thought about. You brought up one point that I did not realize and I am thinking about it. If I deem that to be an unacceptable risk, I will back down. But as of right now, this is something I really want to do, and just because that remains the case does not mean I’m not hearing what you’re saying. It just means I consider the risk to be acceptable based on the potential of saving somebody’s life.

You say if I want to help people I should donate time and money. These things are not mutually exclusive. I will not stop helping people just because I gave up a kidney. I actively participate in several charities and I give donations where I can afford them. Sometimes that means money is tight for me, but it’s always a sacrifice I’m willing to make. That will not stop just because I choose to contribute a part of my body. This is an ADDITIONAL way to help someone. Not an either/or scenario.

Like I said, I understand the risks. The one thing I didn’t think of is that apparently there are certain activities that I will be advised against doing if I am lacking a kidney. I will take that into consideration and think on it further. But at first thought…doesn’t that seem a little selfish? Oh I’m sorry, I’ve decided not to save your life because I want to go skydiving. Doesn’t sit right with me.

You also say that there’s a possibility my kidney would go to a criminal or someone who will abuse it and it won’t really end up helping anyone. I feel like that’s a low probability. Ideally I hope that I am a match for Philip Defranco Sr, but on the other hand I hope he finds a match before I become eligible. So if I can’t donate to him, would being an anonymous donor still be a worthy endeavor? I think so…who am I to decide who does or does not deserve a kidney? I can just choose to give SOMEONE that second chance and hope they run with it. There’s no chance of saving someone with a failing kidney by choosing NOT to donate.

As someone who has lost people very close to me to health problems, I always find myself wishing there were SOMETHING that SOMEBODY could do. Well this is a circumstance where I can do something. Health problems are not easy to fix, and I have the chance to fix someone’s problem, potentially saving their life??? Why wouldn’t I take that opportunity?

You say I should save it in case someone close to me has a kidney failure. Well there’s no history of kidney problems in my family so I’m not worried about that. Beyond my family, there are 3 people I would gladly give anything for, even a kidney. One of them was lost to cancer in 2010. The other two are Nisha and Brianna…and I don’t even know if I’m a match for them. And even if I knew that I WAS a match for either one…isn’t it stupid to save one JUST IN CASE they have problems in the future when somebody else needs one NOW? There are just too many variables. I don’t know that they’ll have any issues, and if they do I don’t know that they’ll be a match. Plus they’re both on board with my plan and think it’s a very generous thing to do. If they DO have problems down the road, they won’t blame me for being unable to help. I will blame myself I’m sure, as they both mean the world to me…but I’m sure they’d talk some sense into me and remind me why I did this in the first place. Not to mention I think we all know I’d still do anything I could to help them, up to and including helping to find them a suitable donor.

Now don’t get me wrong. My dad isn’t a bad guy. He thinks it’s very noble that I want to help in every way possible, he just sees this as being an unnecessary risk and he’s very stubborn. In the end, the decision is mine and mine alone. I believe he will choose to support whatever decision I make…to an extent. When I can barely move after the surgery, he’s not just gonna let me struggle to prove a point. He’ll just constantly look for opportunities to say “I told you so.” He’d rather not have to and will likely do everything in his power to stop me from taking that route, but failing that, I believe he’ll support me, just very begrudgingly.

So my question to anyone who has finished reading this is as follows: Do you think it’s a good idea? Knowing all the risks, is it a worthy endeavor? Why should I donate a kidney? Or why should I reconsider?